Before God came to me, I was completely broken and numb; I was at a point where I just didn’t care anymore. I wasn’t taking care of myself. My mental health was at a breaking point, to be honest, and I was borderline losing my mind. I was full of anxiety and depression. I had no hope.
On May 27th, 2017, I had a spiritual moment I will never forget. All I can say to keep it simple is God left the 99 and came to me that day. He told me I had a choice; I could continue down the path I was living, and that path would lead to my destruction, death or insanity. Then he gave me another option, to choose to take his hand and follow him.
God told me that day that He could use my words. He showed me a vision of my ministry. I’ll be honest, at first I told God you got the wrong guy. But what I didn’t know at the time is that when God calls someone to something, God’s going to make sure it happens.
Due to the toxic faith in my past, it took me a while to find Jesus. The Christians I had known always just looked down on me. They judged me. They never showed Gods love for me. They only forced their beliefs on me and used God to feed their ego. They didn’t love first like their master. So, my journey to find God took a meandering path.
I spent a lot of time searching for God, the one who had come to me. I searched through every religion I could get my hands on. I read about Judaism, Buddhism, Jainism, Hinduism, Taoism, Islam, etc. They all left me wanting more. I kept searching and it wasn’t till I got into the Bible that I found Jesus and fell in love. After all my studies I finally found the God who reached out to me and saved me.
So here I am, through His Holy Word. I’ve been healed of depression; I’ve been healed of my mental illnesses, I now defeat my anxiety with God’s help, I am no longer numb, but have found how to deal with my emotions healthily. I am no longer broken… “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again”. But GOD can!
I could go on forever, but I just want you to know that there is a God who loves the broken. A God who isn’t afraid to jump into your mess. A God who loves you and wants a relationship with you right where you are right now. A lot of people think, “I’m not good enough for God”. I thought that too. The truth is we all fall short, but…
God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Now that is unconditional love. That grace and love are available to you right now. I pray for you to take God’s hand today. God bless you!
With Love,
Matthew Immanual Johnson